Most think combating porn = trying harder, praying harder, working harder.
I’m here to tell you – this won’t work. If you’ve tried this before and failed – you know how discouraging that is!
In the last blog – I discussed the science behind porn addiction. I encourage you to go back and educate yourself on the neurological changes that occur due to pornography addiction.
If you’re struggling with pornography, and have been for years, your solution isn’t as simple as “try harder”.
Over my 13 or so years of porn addiction, I can’t count how many promises I’ve made to myself to stop, how many times I vowed to never return to those websites.
I’ve tried strategies and techniques. I’ve deleted all social media. I deleted girls’ contacts – but none of that seemed to address my desire for pornography.
Instead of address the outward action – lets look at what that outward action is disclosing about your heart.
When did porn start for you? What was going on in your life and around you?
See – pornography isn’t so much a lust issue – it’s an unaddressed wound issue.
“Unwanted sexual behavior is a direct reflection of the parts of our story we have not addressed”Jay Stringer – sex addiction counselor
Somewhere deep in your heart – you’re hurting, you’re bleeding – maybe without realizing it.
But it’s there – that feeling of worthlessness when you Dad left.
That feeling of anger when your parents split.
The shame that beat you down after you were sexually abused.
I know you’ve put these things out of your mind – you never want to think about the day you failed your parents or felt alone and wanted to end your life.
It’s time to face those feelings. Your past must be addressed or else your past will keep showing up in your future.
“A heart with an ounce of kindness for your life story will accomplish so much more for you than a mind full to the brim of strategies to combat lust”Jay Stringer
Porn isn’t about lusting – it’s about medicating. What are you medicating with porn?
I medicated my anger with pornography. See, I grew up in a Christian household and always said/did the right things. But secretly, I resented not having sex, not partying, not outwardly living for myself. So, I used porn. In trouble with parents – turn to porn. No verbal affirmation from my girlfriend – turn to porn.
The one thing you can do to beat porn is this:
Address your wound
We cannot settle for abstaining from porn – we need to pursue the “Why” behind our porn use. Why do you use porn? Seriously. Why? I know why I did – and it’s helped me address my addiction in ways I didn’t think possible.
It’s your turn. You owe it to yourself to find healing. Spend time in thought and prayer – see a counselor – seek wisdom and understanding.
You can try all you want. But until you address the underlying issue – you don’t stand a chance.
You can do it. There is freedom for you.
Jesus said “I have come that they may have life, life more abundantly.” -> It’s time to step into that life.
Jay Stringer – whose book “Unwanted” is an incredible resource – I highly recommend it!
Let’s not wait any longer – let’s pursue freedom. It takes courage, but it is so worth it.